Oh...the joys of committing to a surgery that requires you to go through tests that are miserable. Yesterday I went to Fletcher Allen (the actual hospital) and had an Endoscopy and an Esophogram. Neither were pleasant. I did amazingly well with the IV even though I thought I was going to have to give the nurse a tutorial on my vein structure....which in every sense of the word suck. She'd point to a vein and I'd say...that one collapses and she's poke another one and I'd say, "Yeah, it looks good now but the second you put a needle in it disappears." Most nurses smile politely at me and say, 'Oh dear....I'm a pro at this..." and then continue to stick me 15 times until they realize that I wasn't pulling their leg. Fortunately for me...I got this kick ass nurse that listened to me and finally found a vein in my hand. She did a lot of flicking of that vein which kinda toughened me up for the needle prick. Once that was in and the color had returned to my face, I settled in. The nurse and resident surgeon came to bring me to the procedure room where the nurse went over a few things. First, I was going to have to swallow this stuff that would numb the back of my throat (gag reflex). Then, she would give me sedatives and have me roll on my side. Then they would put a mouthguard in to protect the scope and my teeth (I bet my teeth are worth more) and then wahlah...scope and done.
The surgeon was running late but arrived in perfect form and was very calm and reassuring. They had me swallow this gross freakin' goo that had the consistency of rubber cement and tasted worse. But FIRST they had me "swish" it around. Are you freakin' kidding me? I couldn't swish that shit around if I had a cement mixer. But I humored her and did what she said...until she told me to swallow in which case I almost vomited. I'm such a lovely patient. She received her order from the doctor to drug me up (in which case I was practically begging to be loopy so I could forget the phlegm goo I just swallowed.). She gave me two different meds (which I like to refer to as almost sleepy time and relax, it will be over soon meds.) I remember the doctor talking the resident through the first part of the procedure and then I proceeded to gag and try to vomit up the scope. They removed it and I heard the doctor say, "Nurse...more please" and she shot me up with more of the giggle juice. The rest of the procedure is foggy but I do remember feeling the scope in my throat and then feeling them pull it out. Nightmare material...but not painful.
They wheeled me out, let me "recover" for like 10 minutes and then got me moving. It wasn't enough recovery time....I wanted to enjoy the lala land for a bit more but I guess they needed the bed. At least it felt like it with the urgency in which they made me sit up. After that procedure was over, I made my way to radiology for the Esophagram. (I'm totally making that name up by the way....I think it sounds like that....but either way, they were taking xrays of my inside) When I got there I had to undress AGAIN and get into their embarrassing ass hanging out mumu's. I was then escorted by an xray tech into the xray dungeon. They proceeded to tell me what they were going to do to me. I can explain it this way....it was like being pressed in a sandwich press and then being forced to drink a glue like substance that tastes like ass (barium) and then fizzy water, then more barium, then watered down barium, then more of that...then water. It was like I was being stuffed and then flattened. Not the best of conditions but the techs were awesome and they made me feel as comfortable as they could. When that was done...I finally was able to leave.
I did work myself up for these procedures but I made it through in one piece. The result sheet says I have a hernia of some kind (I know that it involves my stomach and esophagus...one is being pushed into the other) and the other is gastritis...which I'm assuming is because I'm a stressball and probably am developing an ulcer. I'm not sure how this effects my surgery outlook but I'm hoping its just a small bump.
It seems like this road to the surgery is full of loops and hills but the team I'm working with is extremely knowledgeable and personable. I have a follow up appointment next week and will fill you in on my therapy session next time I write. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment